TudungPipol

Few things i learnt :

1. Kak zila taught me that just because you are quiet, doesnt mean you are okay with everything. Sometimes not everything you can tell to people

2. Syida taught me that eventho people around you are negative , that doesnt mean you should drag yourself into it altogether. You still can stay positive and cheerful as you always are.

3. Mimie taught me that even the softest person have a limit . And if anyone crossed the line , its okay to blow up. But tell them in a gentlest way.

4. Kak Hasni taught me that even if you are experienced, you gotta keep yourself low and humble. Your experience is not a ticket fr you to act bossy or cocky. and just because you dont see someone is doing something, doesnt mean they dont see it at all

5. Kak Aniz taught me that a manager needs to take care of her staff's welfare. Especially when they had worked hard to fulfill the company's need- no matter what position they are.

6. Faz taught me that just because they are family , doesnt mean they deserve the position of the job. Some jobs need experience from below to be held successfully.


But one thing im sure right now, is i need to move on from this ' keje main2  phase I need to start finding more stable job. Since Hamra is delayed to next year, so i have plenty of time to collect money ! Yayyy. Hahhahaa but this time , i have to find something that can stimulate my mind . Dealing with people are so tiring , to be honest . Over the years , i just realized that .Gahhhhh. I have to get back my cheeky personality also . Im too young to be bitter tho. Plus , this condition doesnt benefit me at all . This is MY LIFE. and im not a tree. if i dont like my condition right now , i should just MOVE . Hewhewhew.

However, for the time being, im trying to focus to be an amazing woman - finding way to contribute to my parents, less talking back and all. It's bout time , isnt it ? I should care more bout what i wear, as to look presentable. Enhance my cooking skills.Upgrade my mind with new knowledge. And most importantly , chasing my dreammmssss weeehuuu. Hahaha. I have to get out from this lame cycle . I need to break this pattern . I must to ! Seeing Kak Yana in her wedding dress yesterday gave me some sort of feeling. I have always been inspired by her. How can i not ? Haihhh. I wish that one day ill figure all of this out . Getting out from this tiring phase and live a brand new life. InsyaALlah. I hope whatever im dealing right now , would beneficial to me or anyone that i share it with . Hihih.

Till then, just pray for me. I need your duaas too, and you guys will have mine insyaAllah. Goodbye for now :)

Nebuluos

Is it happiness all what we are looking for ? Or serenity , free from any suffocating thoughts ?
Or emotional security , being comfortable with oneself ?

Which one , really ?


Salam and hello to you my readers , whoever you are . You could be my friend , or any stranger . Whoever you might be , please know that i feel flattered for you to read my blog since its purpose is to share my opinions , thoughts , experiences and whatnot. Yes , thankyou fr reading .

So , just so you know , we moved into new mahallah . And i finally chose Postgrade's rather than Undergraduate's . Yes , i had roomates . No , they didnt chose PG like me .

That was a tough call i must say . There are so many reasons in so many aspects . To leave or to stay.  To retreat or to be away  I mean , weve been living together since 2011 and only God knows the ups and downs weve been through. But there are times  that i feel like its better to live alone . Not totally alone like having no friends but survivor-kinda alone .

But here's a thing bout me . I hate people who run from their problems . So id make sure that i dont do the same .  It's a mindsetting . You will tend to avoid doing things that you think will annoy you if someone did to you . Simple .

Then my movement from UG to PG  , is it some kind of problem-running case ? Honestly , i myself not really sure . But what im certain of is that , whenever i have any issue with anyone , it happened during theres a war inside of me. You gediit ? Means , the unsettled battle inside of me is projected to the outside and hit other people . That is not good . i Have to do something bout it .

So i guess that is it . Soul-searching . Saved from incoming heartache eventho there would be some in future . However , i find that it is hard to adapt . Everything is just too alien for me . Mundane . Foreign . The people , the environment , When i compare it to the UG , i feel a bit envy . Daym . Is this the right choice ? How to handle this in another 2 months time ?!

Then i found the answer . I have to find my own routine . Routine that simplified my day . Make everything so easy and lovable . I need to fall in love with my room . Have some emotional attachment with it . For this , i need to make connection with other ppl around me . Just find whatever that can make my room lovely and a place that i cant leave off. Yes  .  i have to !

Continously looking for a salvation

' What will you categorize yourself ? A pessimist ? An optimist ? A realist ?'
' The indecisive '
' Why ?'
' Because thats what im facing right now , i feel like nothing is uncertain . And im about to graduate . How am i supposed to know whats the best for me ? And i dont know what i should choose . Everything is pretty interesting to me. im just...indecisive '
' Okay . Lemme tell you one thing . Dont call yourself anything '
' What do you mean ? '
' Just have a free mind . Free .  You know sometimes when people put a certain label on themselves, they thought they are obliged to it . For example The Realist . They are factual people . White is white . So is black . Theres no Grey area . The problem with who called emselves this , is their reality cannot be applied to everyone . Only for certain situation. '
' What kind of situation ? '
' Lets say the police and the trafficlight . We all know that the redlight is to stop .But what if theres no car at all on the road , and the driver is in emergency so he just pressed the pedal ? Would that make him guilty , to you ? To the police you need to stop when the light turns red no matter what . Even it was safe . Even someone is dying . Can you see how is their facts cannot be used to some condition ? Well thats just an example '
' Okay '

Free mind . Free your mind . Free your soul .

' Do you know that we live in a world that conducted by a system . A system that doesnt necessarily exist , but be put into existence because everybody is doing it '
' Elaborate '
' Okay you see , we schooled for 11 years , then we entered university . Then we worked and finally get married. Who exactly arranged our life to be that way ? Why must you school first , then work ? Why cant you work first , then you study ? All im saying is , with these kind of patterns we are actually creating a system . A system that doesnt exist at first but established throughout years .
' Okay . Then whats your point ? '
' This system happened because everybody is doing it . But if there are people who didnt do it , it will make a hole in that system . Be that hole . Be free . Its not necessary for you to follow that system . This is YOUR life . Do it anything you want from it .'

' But if you wanna plan . Plan in a realization that it prrobably wont go like you think and it will be changed. Do have backup plans and safety net . '

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Both conversations happened at Tioman . Hahahahah . I was this closed to think that my decision to go is a mistake . Then this happened . So i was grateful i was there . Plus , suddenly my view about life is altered in some ways . Yelah , i was in sad state and depressed and my life is stagnant . But when i met this people- in the picture - it made me think like ' There are gotta be more to life , girl ! Cheer up! Explore the world . Explore yourself '.

I dont know . I probably was in those state before because of the heartbreak (?) and the uncertain future , then my adek is getting married .  Seems like everybody;s life is moving forward .Except mine . And i cant take that . I must do something with my life . Perhaps something that i never thought i would do it . But then , i dont know what is that . So when i go to tioman , something had enlightened me to see this world on a different sides.

This one hits me on the face real hardddd . Is it because i hv no faith towards Him ? You feel so anxious , and worried and restless of the unknowingly future , when its not here yet . What good does it do to you anyway ? Do i have no believe in Him of whats coming ? Astaghfirullahalazim . How could i think such thing ? i have nooo idea what does my action implies to my faith . Ya ALlah , show me the way . But because of this , ill try to find back my trust and depending more on Him rather than my efforts . Just like what kak yana said ,' Just enjoy the moment . Live what you have now . And everything will go uphill from there' . I will kak yana . Ravel in joy .Cherish the moment .

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Have you ever heard ,' At the end of the day ,its not the counts of your friends that matters but the friends you can count on '.  I begin to understand that now . Im near to be a final year student, and there are few times i feel like idont want to meet new people ( probably in that sad phase) , just enough with everyone i have right now . People around me .Magenta especially . I hv no energy anymore to impress people and to make em think that im an interesting person . im done with that . i dont care anymore . if you wanna talk to me then you will .hahahah sounds so ignorant . but yeah . it was so weird to see me mute in a crowd of people . Me ? Silence ? Never a match  . I think we all would come to that phase one day- When you filter people you hang out with and share your stories .

Sad , isnt it ? i hate being sad . Time is not moving . and i look so pathetic . Lethargic. Plastic .

So i have to end it right now . Thank God to all friends i have around me .

I realize that no matter what im feeling inside , i need to give my best appearance to the world ( tetiba) . Im not in a condition that can be sad for a longg time . I have fyp waiting for me . A future thats coming towards me . I  have to move forward . and to move , i need positive energy . the vibes . My vibes . Make connections . Make networks. Feel the world is so exciting once again . To feel alive again . To feel .... Hope .

Family . Friends .Him . The support system .

Remember , this is your life . Do it anything you want with it. Do not let a single person ruin it.



Continously looking for a salvation . When will this end ... ?

Mencari makna kehidupan .

Life has different meaning to everybody . So do I . I believe that no matter what kind of background that  we have, how do we look , what kind of food we eat or where are we from ; all of these tests , tribulations , hardships were meant to bring  us back to him . Those were designed to lead us to the way in searching Him . Then , let us alone to decide which path are we going to take . On track or side-tracked ? We get to choose   . And we are responsible for the choices we have made .

These couple of months , ive been dealing and struggling with what we call as uncertainties of life . The rejection , the pain , the hardships , the happiness , the depression , the awkwardness and everything in between . But what I am certain about , is it was Changes that we faced .

I Believe that we all have certain degrees of cheerfulness of facing this adventurous  world . However, is reduced little by little until it reach a certain level . A level  that would be just enough for us to face this life . Just enough to keep us sane . Just enough to enable us feel cheerful and grateful for all the Mercy that is given by Him despite all the sins we have commited . Just enough .

Have you ever sit alone by yourself and think : What have I done for all my life ? Have I been a good friend ? Have I been a good daughter / son  ? Have I done all my responsibilities as a student ? Have I done my role as a part of the society / ummah ? Have I done my BEST to please HIM ?

Have you ?

Is it necessary to compare different treatment of people towards you and others ? Is it necessary to take account of what people think about you ? Is it necessary to feel down when you think you don’t live up to expectation , fitting in with the society ? Is it necessary to reflect on those things I mentioned before ?

“ What people think bout you is not important . What matters is what HE thinks bout you “

“ People’s treatment towards you is the reflection of you “ – Justify this. Is it true ? Does this matters ? Does  this bothers you ? Then , how far ?

Suffocated . Drown . Don’t you feel the same as I am ?

Sometimes  I wonder how the atheists , or people who claims there are no God deal with these kind of situations . Because for all I know , it is because of HIM that I still can breathe in the midst of the suffocation . Pulling myself out of the equation  , gasping for air . Gasping for a room of improvements . Finding reasons - reason to stay alive .

Why do you travel  ? Why are you so eager to go those places you have listed ? Why are we being encouraged to travel ?

To show off ? To convince ourselves that we have achieved something ? To do what everybody is doing ? To experience the world ? To meet new people ? To learn new things ? To learn others cultures ? To compare your life with them and start being either ungrateful or grateful ?

So , WHY ?

Then , what ?

Months after that , you will be going back to your old habit , old thinking , old lifestyle . Same old same old.

Months after that  , you will live in your OWN culture that has nothing todo with other people cultures and you just sink in.

Month after that , all you can brag about is how awful those people compared to your country , how beautiful the sceneries are , how many friends you have made….. So what ?

HOW ARE THESE GOING TO MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON ?

If you say it’s the knowledge and experience . Then tell me , how many percentages of things that you have learnt from the kindergarten to universities you have applied in your life ? How many ? and you are saying going to all these places would give you a better reason to change being a good person , compared to the 22 years of living with culture, experience , knowledge in yr own place ?

CUT THE CRAP !

Don’t get me wrong .

Please.

Listen to what I have to say.

Find your own meaning to everything that you do. Don’t just do something because everybody is doing it .  Don’t do things just to look NORMAL . Don’t do things without direction .

Do something because you know you will gain something from it . And you can use it for your own benefit and others  .Please .  Find your own meaning .

Do travel .To find yourself . To find your reason to keep  breathing .To give a meaning  to your life .

Then wouldnt it be sweeter to SHARE ?

Share the positive vibes you got . Inspire .

Because not everybody is as lucky as you . And sharing will never hurt , will they ?

3 bulan dah ?!

Subhanallah ! MasyaAllahh !

Ramadhan is coming toward the ends . So is the practical . I would like to thank everyone and each of you who make me going through the 3months . All the ups and downs . The blood and sweats .
(padahal intern takhabes lagi zzz)

Sehubungan dengan itu , mari kita cek balik checklist kita untuk Ramadhan ini . Sejauh mana kita realisasikan apa yang kita dah azamkan .

Azam :
i. Pakai stokin 
- Alhamdulillah . Pergi intern pakai . Satu , sebab kaki allergic kene pakai kasut lab tu . Dua , nak pakai jalan is a struggle . Yes , a struggle . Selalu . Lupa T_T

ii. Better understanding of my parents.
-Many things happened , yes . Biasalah darah muda hahaha . Memang anak paling menjawab memang aku lah . But im trying to hold back and sabar and change . Teehheee .
- I met this one girl . She is one of my teammates . We talked bout things like this sometimes , because to me , she is a girl who have principles in life . People like this can benefit us , and you will like automatically trust them . Then she told me about : Learning to let go and Attachment .
- Attachment or Kebergantungan kepada Allah , is actually one thing we always forget in our daily life . Believe me , dearie . Sometimes we rely so much to His creation , hoping for our kindness or effort to be returned , that we relentlessly forgetting our Divine One . He is the Creator of the creation . He is the Almighty , The one who have power on every living things . He is the All-planner .
And with that in mind , we need to learn how to let go . Let go of the things that unnecessary to be carry on eventho we hurt so much inside and feel as if this world is cruel . Stick to the plan which is bring everyone in the family to the Jannh . Yeah , let go . Let it burn .

iii. Stop exploring unnecessary things on internet.
- This is fated  . One fine day , i kicked my laptop down to the floor  and it was damaged for about almost 1month now . Looking at the bright side , yeah its good . This somehow fulfill my 3rd mission . O Allah the Best Planner , eventho somehow it looked like a mishaps but actually it also benefit me in another way :')

iv.  Reading .
- Alhamdulillahh . Finished a book , and moving on to the next one  . But this one is sooo lembab the process . hahaha .

v. kawal nafsu dan jaga hati .
- I dont know if im putting my best effort to guard my nafs , but i denied every distraction and i think i kinda nailed it . Almost-Zero scandal . Muahahahaah . Alhamdulillahhh . That sounds good already to me :D


2 . Pastu bila tengok and scroll balik dari awal sampai akher ni , there are some people i want to give special thanks to . Because they kinda took care of me even from afar . And i'd be needing that . I just never thought i would. Kak Mira , Coach and KA . KA sebab she always helped me with all the directions of jalan (Newbies on the KL street wootwoot ! ) and patient enough to describe to me everything . Muahahah! Iknow sometimes i looked soooo dumb (sheez) but whatever , that is what a friend for . Showing your weakness to them believing they wont mock you back and belittle them :') The faith . Thankyou KA !

3. Farihin's family and my teammates are my best company along the journey . I had fun with them . I am glad i made the decision  to join Masum .They asked me like tak penat ke ulang alik ShahAlam -Gombak ? I questioned myself too. Well i guess thats what happen when you do something you like . Nothing can be compared to the joy of doing it . As long as you can do it  you are happy and you are not complaining . Teehee .


4. Now the point is , bulan Ramadhan nak pergi , tapi apa lagi amalan yang masih berbaki ? Dah cukup bekalan nak hadap Syaitanniraajim ni ? Perghhh . Dah nak akhir2 ni alhamdulillah ABC , tapi sedeh la jugak tak dpt nk beribadat lebih sikit . Masa macam terasa kosonnng jeww . hewhew .
Ya Allah , jangan lah kau palingkan hati2 kami setelah Kau bagi hidayah kepada kami . Terimalah amalan2 solat dan puasa kami . Jangan kau biarkan kami dengan nasib kami sendiri . Semoga keluarnya kami dari Ramadhan ni , hati kami rawan kembali dan teguh menghadapi realiti . Kau lah pemegang hati2 kami . Tetapkanlah hati kami . Sucikanlah dengan sifat2 Mahmudah dan husnuzzon . Tempat kanlah kami di kalangan orang2 beriman . Ameeeennn.


5. Lepas raya ,ada dalam 8 hari je training for Masum and 2weeks for practical habes . End of August is Masum . Masuk sem is 9 Sept . Perghhhh . Banyak pula keje nihaaa . Fokus practical nak A !!!! Focus Masum nak masuk next round !!! Moga2 lemak tak bertambah banyak sangat . Ya Allah berikaanlah aku kekuatan dan berkatilah usaha kamiii ! :)


Peri buat fitness sana hoiii !!!!

22 and New .

Alhamdulillah segala puji bagi Allah , aku genap 22 tahun 15 Mei 2013 . Alhamdulillah
Aku masih lagi bernafas , masih lagi berpeluang menebus dosa2 lama , masih ada ruang untuk bertaubat. Terimakasih yaAllah .


Aku ingat lagi tahun lepas , pada tarikh yang sama . How my friends pranked me . First time ever in my life :') Sayang korang ggg (hearts) . Dulu kat sekolah tak penah kene pun . Sebab salu jatuh atas tarikh exam and cuti . Plus  aku tak rasa aku ni kawan favourite so takde la dorang nak buat camni . Haha . Nak buat cemana , redhaaa je la . Jadi Prank pertama adalah pada umur 21 :) Hee , Thankyou una fuzah atie ka yanie eyqa raf umu shai dan sesiapa yang ada pada waktu itu . I really appreciate it . I loved it :) Merasaaa juga akhernya kekekek. Sayang korang semua . Rindu waktu tu :')

Tahun ni tataw nak rasa apa . Ucapan dr mereka yg rapat dan yang aku syg ,terimakasih atas segala ucapan2 dan hadiah2 :) Cukuplah sekadar mengetahui masih ada insan yang mengingati diri yang hina ini :') . Lagipun dgn labreports berlambak dan nak dekat exam semua org kejar due date. Dan lagi Mungkin kerana umur meningkat . Fokus aku lebih kepada bagaimana aku mencorak dan mengisi umur aku selama 22 tahun ni . How far i have become what i want . And what have i done to my life so far . emm. masa umur aku 18 ke 19 tahun , aku selalu baca blog Hilal Asyraf. Dia selalu kata yang kita kena rancang hidup kita ni so tak jadi sia2 . MasyaAllah masa tu rasa nk gugur jantung takut hidup aku sia2 Hahaha -.-" . Walaupun aku tak rasa hidup aku skrg tak ikut pun apa yg aku plan (eh ada ke plan? ) tapi alhamdulillah setakat ni okey lagi . Masih terisi perkara2 yang memberi faedah. Cuma sikit2 lagi kene baiki .


Antara perkara2 yang terkesan di hati bila cakap pasal prestasi diri dalam hidup ni , bila aku ukur sejauh mana aku dah jadi anak yang baik kepada parents aku . (mata bergenang) . Aku anak kedua . Along dah kahwin.  Jadi aku rasa beban ada kat bahu aku bila balik umah . Selalu boleh rilek2 kan . Sekarang ni tolong lah sedar diri kau tu da besar tua Maslin dah nak bole jadi bini orang , mak bapak pun bukan muda lagi (nanges) . Aku sampai satu tahap tu , terasa semu hidup kat uia ni semua palsu tipu fake . As if kalau semua jawatan/sukan/aktiviti tu ditarik dari aku , apa yang tinggal ? Diri aku yang mana satu akan diekstrak tu ? Punyalah dalam sangat fikir sampai depress/marah kat diri sendiri . Aku hilang arah . Ya , betul . Kawan2 tataw sgt benda ni sbb aku rasa macam aku sorang je leh setel benda ni hua3 .


Hari tu kitorang kelas NRM  kelas gabung semua biotech . Lepas kelas tu aku ada kuiz . Baru nak bacaaaaa mak aih . Jadi nk kluar pergi class laen tu ttbe nampak kak mira . Nampak semacam je .Ohemgee , die nanges . Aku pun duk lah sebelah dia .Tukar plan. Aku tggu je lah die cite sendiri . Then die kata " I jadi mcm u maslin  pikiaq lelebih" . Aku dengar je lah . Sbb aku yg salu ckp byk hihi.
And at that time aku rasa , kak mira rasa apa yang aku rasa . Youknoww this feeling of 'what hv i done to my life?!' . I feel you kak mira :')


Paling terasa masa final basketball Iscar . Walaupun dapat emas  tapi aku tak gembira pun , Sebab aku tahu game time tu langsung tak berkualiti . Aku sedeh teramat sangat .Aku mula rasa this thing is not for me anymore . Maybe its time for me to quit ? But This isnt me . Maslin without basketball is nothing . Faham dah apa aku cuba sampaikan ? Aku mula rasa , its enough . Memang sukar nak cakap benda ni. Dulu aku takpaham kenapa org giveup .Skrg aku tahu dah .


I think i hv arrived at the cliff , the turning point of my life . Kdg2 aku rasa basketball ni yg halang aku nak jadi sopan tu semua hahaha kenapa aku fikir camtu -.-. Sebab this thing has embedded in me since i was form 1 till now . Basketball is ME . Tiap kali cuti 3 bulan balik umah mesti nak masuk Masum  sampai kene chop tak consider family la bla3 . Aku harung semua tu . Demi basketball tersayang. haha .But we can change that . People change. And everything is temporary in this world . Yang kekal ? Hanya Allah . Dan kepada ALlah lah kita kembali .


Oleh itu , mari buat azam umur baru ! :D :

1. Stoking . Aku da lama da pikiaq benda ni . nk slow tu pun hati kena kuat aihhh , engat senang . Disebabkan kaki tgh luka , kita hold dulu ye . Target : Masa intern n Ramadhan nanti insyaAllah.

2. Masak . Perangai manusia mmg cmni kot , belum apa2 lagi nak terus hebat . Fah la pelupa .Aku stress betul masuk dapur. Masuk je , kene marah . Siapa suka ? Kalau camtu tak nak la balik umah hahahaah . Kalau pasal dapur aku mesti emosi . Perasaan terpendam dari zaman sekolah sbb salu kene marah kat dapur . Kdg2 macam benci pun adaaa!Grrrrrr!Jangan maslin jangan , Kawal emosi tu.Be rasional .Kita kena matang okey ? Mmg la kene matang,tapi umur aku da 22 tahun kott nak marah2 lagi ke ? Stress gilaa . Bila stress kerja macam haraamm , pastu kene marah lagi ! Ohh api syaitan is everywhere !
Tapi alonk kata,slow2 skit2 . Atleast masuk lah. ( skrg tahu tak betapa susa nya jadi perempuan T_T)

3. Creativity side . After ecdc , aku terasa mcm jumpa secebis diri aku yang hilang . Aku terasa sisi kreatif aku semakin terhakis . Dulu aku buat semua benda kot . Muzik , Menari ,  Menulis , Bahasa. Aku nak cari balik diri aku yang suka baca buku falsafah dan sastera tu . I forget how much i love language . Aku nak isikan lagi hati aku dengan ilmu2 bahasa dan sejarah melalui peluang2 yang ada . Hahaha .

4. Amalan agama .Target skrg , kalau ada event talk ke pape kita  cuba pergi even sorang2 . Kalau kita ada kesempatan masa , kita jejakkan kaki ke masjid . Subuh tak terlajak. Amalan sunat tak skip .

5. Anak solehah . try sabar dengan kerenah ibubapa . try faham disebalik kemarahan mereka . try emphatize tempat mereka . try gembirakan hati mereka . try become super Angah ! (Y) hewhew.

Kita azam lima dulu ye . I maybe slow but surely im heading to Allah ( Rafiqah Azira , 2013)

May.

Oh hye ! Its May already .

Where the voucher is expired and the RapidKuantan is charged . Wuwuww. Hahaha


So what happened in May so far ?

1. PRU . My 1st time of electing my future government . And BN won . Once again . Alhamdulillah.

2.  Naek  je cuti , berlambak2 labreports and quizzes . Hua3 .

3. ECDC2013 . Im the PC with shai latep salmah n latep . Alhamdulillah it was a success (i guess) hee. I got so many new knowedges bout debating process and all . Thankyou shahrain for asking my help eventho i have nooooo idea whatsoever bout events like this . heee

4. Accident . Terbabas to be specific . Hua3 . Infrontof cafe . I was speeding like always when suddenly someone turned left without signal ! I was shocked, i pressed break and my tire is not in stable condition , so i slipped to the right . Hua3. Thank God Dr. Shogar was right behind me and offered me a ride to the clinic . I called kak mira . After the treatment , i went to her room because its nearer . Kak etty came n lepak sama. from 3- 9pm <3 .="" alhamdulillah="" hahaah.="" je="" kanan="" la="" nothing="" p="" pecahhh="" serious="" sidemirror="" so="" t_t="" was="">
5. My legs are wounded . So i cant walk properly , and my works felt postponed . I cant move much . I mean , move around with the bike lalala. Swimming test is this week or next week T_T . Less than 2 weeks for finals T_T .

Oh Allah , I actually can see why this happened to me . I have some questions bout my life , and i kinda find the answers thru this accident . All in all , please forgive me all my sins. Please forgive for all ignorancce and negligence . Hmmm. Show me the right path yaAlah . Iloveyou :')

Election - AGM .

Assalamualaikumm Orang kampung !

Ahaaaa , setelah habes bergegak gempita selama seminggu  . Dengan ini , saya akan menceritakan apa yang berlaku selama seminggu yang lepas . Hihi.


1 . SCIENCESS ELECTION 12/ 13 ! and Our beloved Magenta sent 7 representatives ! Weehoo !

SECRETARY
A- Sazzy -Contested
* Kak etty pun ada! :)

SPORT N REC
B- Wafy -Contested
C- Dya - Won Uncontested

ART N CULTURE
D- Zie - COntested

TRAINING N EDU
E- Sarah - Won Uncontested

WELFARE
F - Toin - Won Uncontested
G - Fuzah - Won Uncontested  :)

2) Then , suddenly there is ME ! After the blood , sweat and tears . Hihi , and the number has become EIGHT ! :)

HAHAHAAHAHA ! 

I have no idea how dare am i to apply this post -.-

Meh besaqkan sikit.
MUKA SKEMA SIOT !

 3 ) Manifesto Session . MasyaAllahh , idontknow what has gone into my mind ! Ketaqq siot ! Siap terasa taknak pi -_-" . Tapi bak kata Kimi : BANTAI JE . Haihh . baiklah ._. .Thankyou Una for helpin me with the MAnifesto :*. First time ni . Memang time aku nak speech tu time tu jugak reka segala benda . Hebat gak otak aku ni . *tepuktepuk* . Tapi masa exam berhenti berfungsi pulak kan. Hmmmmm. Ohh Btw , These are calon Presidents ! :)

Pali- Kimi - Paan = SENGIT !

4 ) Hereeee we are , The awaited time ! Hehehe , Beforeee we go to the results , there are few things that to me ... veryy interesting ! 

ALL OF US EXCO GOT OUR OWN NAMETAG ! YEEPIEE ! 

IBG WON AN AWARD . TOUCHED :")

I WON THE BEST EXCO AWARD. UNEXPECTED.

GHAFAR WON THE BEST EXCO AWARD TOO ! PROUD :8)

ALHAMDULILLAHHHHHHH  ! <3 font="font">

5 ) THE RESULTS  :

SCIENCESS LINE-UP 12/13

PRESIDENT

MOHAMMMAD FADZLI BIN SAIDON

VICE PRESIDENT 1

MUHAMAD HAKIMI BIN SAUDI

VICE PRESIDENT 2

NUR SYAHEERA BT ATAN

SECRETARY GENERAL

SAZIATUL SYAHIRAH SAARI

NOR AMALINA BINTI MOHAMED JOHARI

TREASURER

AZIZUL AZRI JEMMANI

NUR ATIKAH BINTI YUSOF

TRAINING & EDUCATION

MUHAMMAD AZIHAN AHMAD

SARAH SYAZWANI SHAIFUDDIN

ARTS & CULTURE

MUHAMMAD FAUZAN BIN MANSOR

SITI NURSHAHIRAH BINTI SAARI

PUBLIC RELATION & INFORMATION

MUHAMMAD IDLAN AFIQ 

NOR AMIRA YUSOFF

ECONOMY 

WAN MUHAMMAD ATIFF WAN AHMAD RAFIDI

SITI NOOR HASMIZA

SPORTS & RECRATIONAL 

ABDUL WAFIY USOLLI

YENI MARDHIAH SYAFRIZAL SYAH

ISLAMIC AFFAIRS 

MOHD KAMAROL ADZAM BIN IBRAHIM

NURUL ATHIRAH ALI

WELFARE 

MUHAMMAD HARRIS HAMZAH

MAHFUZAH YUSOF

Oh yes , as you can see the RED ; Me and Zie didnt Get the post . While The BLUE ; Sazi and Wafy succeed :)

There is nothing more to say . We plan , Allah plans too Yet His plan is the Most Perfect :) . I personally think , there is always reason to this .Probably we are not ready for the post ? If we get this our condition become worse ? Or Allah has better plan for us , InsyaAllahh :) Maybe . It is not that we are not Good . NO . It is  just , there are better person for this who suits more .What i know , whatever that happened is in the best interest for all of us . He gives not what we WANT but what We NEED :) Congratulations to Wafy and Sazi ! To Zie , maybe this just means that theres another place need your contributions more than Sciencess ? Hihi . Who knows ? ;) To ME ? Alhamdulillahh , YEYY I AM FREEEEE ! I CAN Play basketball and Do Peers activitiess nowww ! Hihihi . I am sorry to seem neglect both of you :( Huhu. Thats myyyy fault for i cannot divide my time wisely ._. . 

6)  Moreover , this has been a great experience for me to apply for VP ! :') I even asked for Am's advices :) Hihi Never ever before i thought this day would come . Yeah , life is full of surprises hey ? And thats what had make your day interesting :) Always dare yourself to try new things. It doesnt even cost you a dime . If it doesnt challenge you , then it wont change youu :) . 

SO , ALL HAIL NEW LINE UPS ! GOOODLUCK !!! 

TO WAFY AND DYA , YOU BETTER DO YOUR BEST ! 

WE BELIEVE AND COUNTING ON YOU ! :)

7) I M H O M E !!!! hahahha who would ever thought ? Hihi . And guess what ? It feels like HEAVEN ! rasa tanak balik UIA !!!! AAAAAAA ! hahhaahhha . Now iknowww what Rafiqah and others feel . Aigoooo. HIhih , But this is just like a short vacation before finals . Haihh , Thank God im not a homey person back in my exco days , because if i do , Banyaaaakk kerjee tak siaaapp hhoiii ! Balik umah duk tidoq ng lagha depan tv jeee . Hihihihihi. Oh Well . Sunday already . Need to pack up whether i like it or not :)

HEnce , there are the updates lads ! May everything went smoothly onwards and Please , #PrayForGAza :)

    

Picnic with dearest Excos :')

Interbatch Games 2012

Alhamdulillah , my laaast programme as Sciencess Exco of SnR has ended successfully :') With the great commitees line-up , i honestly feel proud of them . Eventho there are one or two of them that still need to learn ,but i think i would just cut them some slack . Well , some people do need time right ? :)

So i guess , finally i feel soooo satisfied because this time , i know every flow that happened compared to Ukhuwwah Day where i was just a supervisor . By being a PC , i learnt and acknowledge things that i like to ignore before like the budget as stuffs . Never before in my life i will let myself to get through hardships thinking on money matters and budgets . But , this PC thinggy had made me one . Alhamdulillah for that . AT LAST . i always knew that was my weakness . Now , Not anymore :) . im able to understand whenever the FC present bout the budget :D

I feel glad that i picked them as my commitees .With the PM , Thaqif Othman and APM , Amira Yusoff , plus PC : Ghafar, Shafiq and Kak Hazi , nothing can explain how blessed i feel right now . The most amazing beaureau is Pubpro , Idlan and Paim :) I was so impressed on how they were so cekap doing their work besides the awesome poster design made by Idlan :)) . Sometimes , i just feel grateful with my character who  dare to take risk and like to try new things and get to know new people . This , had get me to explore the beauty of people around me , and the other way around as well . Anyhow , i was always excited to meet new character :D . I feel so touched looking at Hazwan doing his work diligently inspite he is now in senior year same with Ghafar . I mean,being a supersenior doenst mean he can bully his junior , and he doesnt take that for granted . i am moved . :') . The Welfare team , Anis Syazana's who is willing to learn more about FirstAidKit skill just for the sake of Emergency cases that ought to happen . Ohmyyy :') Yeah , ofcourse The commited Kak Ety and the Prep tech team who is there to bare with our requests . Thankyou thankyou thankyou all of you . I myself cant say how thankful and  proud i am to see  new faces and being able to work with you guys as a commitee :') I also see this as a way to get to know my already closed friend more deeply than before , like kak mira and also Paim , my junior teammates .


Well , the moment this event had finished , theres a feeling flowing inside of me . A sadness . A mourn . A taste of gloominess . I dont know . Maybe because Me and Ghafar is going to step down in just few days :'( . Ohhhh my . I dont know how to explain this either . Just .... Sad ._. .

There were so much memories in this . And i really love each one of them . And yes , Bro Remy , the ex -exco SnR came on Sunday . I felt appreciated :') .and he said congrats , because this event is much more merrier than IKG . Alhamdulillahhh  Thankyou Abg Remy :') I really hope all Sciencess Students enjoyed this so much :3


The shortcomings , Should i tell this here too  ? Okey , maybe a lil bit .

1) Theres a lateness in briefing the PC and Refs , so theres a lil miscommunication .
2) I always late . Need to change this :(
3) The attitude . I always believed , that real sportmanship means playing fair and square , and whatever happened in the court , stays in there . Yeah .

Thats enough  i think . Hehe

Now , next issue : Election .

Should i compete for the next tenure ? Should i should i  should i ?

Im actually having Post - event depression HAHAHAHA . Rindu Ibg !!! :'(

And now , i feel so numb . DOnt know what to do . Macam dah tade arah tuju , MasyaAllah Maslin . Wake up ! Get your feet back to realityyyyyyyyyyyyy .

Well , that has always been my problem . Typical me .

What a bless !

*coughcough*

Assalamualaikumm , Guess what ? I had a fever again , and it was on my very first day of midterm paper !

Aiyaakkk .

I was all lembik and blurry . Cant get my head straight. And i dont even finish my readings ! T_T

Then , as always , Allah The Hearer saved our day ! :')

The exam is canceled / postponed ! Subhnallahhh , Alhamdulilaaah! Thankyou ya Allahh . You saved us bigtime ! :')

Wuwuwu . The beauty of His plans <3 p="p">
So whatchu gonna do peeps ?

Yes , dont waste this chance then , do your best on the Real day !

Thankyou Ya Allahhhhhh...


Anddddddddddddd , Someone gave me a huge surpriseeeeeeee , and i really really really love it !

Freshhh from The concerrtt Aliveee Tourrrrr !!!! Woottt woott !!!

But i felt sorry for her , because i dont look like excited as always because of this fever . I just looked like, well , Feverish :D heee

This has also made my day !

Oh well , Iloveyou Kak Mira aka Blair :*


p/s : balik2 je dari clas , terus guling2 sebab sengugut .  Skipped evening classsss . Wuwuwuw . Im rolling in the painn T_T , Thankyou roomates , especially Raf for the panadol and Shai as she made me 'tungku' and peeled me the fruits . I feel loved ! Hee , yeah , i love you guys toooo :)))

Numb .

Disappointment .

1. Everyone has their own family problem . I cant deny that , really . Sometimes , there are some 'difference' that tear them apart , or maybe that worse , but more to like 'not so in harmony situation' . Before that , in my context is BIG family , that is included ipar, besan , biras and cousins . So , i find out that it is easier to neglect this 'war' between families when i was little . ye lah , budak kecik apa tahu . We are all in our little wonderland , everything is wonderful ! .Now , its harder youknow . The backstabbiong, the dissatisfaction, the negativity that surrounding the environment . MasyaAllah i have to say i hate it . But i cant do anything :'( . I must say , once we were kids , gathering together with the cousins was the most awaited time because we can play together and share story ! . But now , it seems like ' lah diorang nak datang ke ? ' . Make them feel uninvited . I am saaad :'(. Especially when we have manyyy cousinsss and we WERE so clooose . But because of our parents , that has affect everything  Even If it was not them , it had affected me. On how i see them , on how unhappy i am to see them and on how judgmental i am towards them. Sometimes , i just feel so guilty . Because they helped us , but at their back we were like despising them. MasyaAllah we are one big family my dearest Families ! Please stop all of thisss ! Its hard to be a grown ups now . And its even harder as you are growing older . Sometimes i felt like i want to shout and scream and yell this kind of words . To make them realize , each other;s mistakes . We are only human . We do mistakes . We are not perfect . AND WE ARE FAMILY . Oh how can this happened in the first place i dont know. Too many assumptions , too many exaggeration of stories . I always pray to Allah to give me a nice and compatible ipar-duai to me , because i dont want my kids to get through the same situation as me in the future . But youknow , life is always tough , and it anything can happen. Im hoping that when the time comes and it turn out to be different , i will be wise and positive enough to handle it . Ya Allah , please unite us as ONE BIG FAMILY . AMEEEENN . Even its nothing serious like berebut harta and stuff , but i still cant find any comfort in this condition . Only HE Who hold the hearts can turn this situation around,. And i pray to you God , to make things like before . So we can feel the sweetest ukhuwwah and preciousest gift you have given us in our life , FAMILY . 

2. Sentap . Touching . Offended. Disappointment . The last word is too harsh to me in any condition . Because to me , when youve reach that point , you are at your limit . But lately , it was like so easy for me to say that . Maybe im tired already. Tired of being too positive , too understanding that people took me for granted . Do what they want . Kawan taknak ikot makan bila da diajak , sentap . Kawan tak show effort nak practice  , sedihh . Partner buat ala kadar dengan event padahal nak turun jawatan , offended. Kawan yang tak consider how i felt , kecewa . Kecewa sebab how can they not think for a second how that will make me feel . How can they be so ignorant . How wehh howw ?! I always try my best to do all i can for them , but how cant they give in a little .  Iknow , this is actually happened when i was so unstable after the heart-thinggy . However , some of it still has affect on me . Astaghfirullahh . Yes yes i knowww . I try to rationalize . I TRIED . But this is the moment when i hope i can 'take' something from you guys , just abit . I just need you to understand me just for a second . Nothing more . So... that is why . That is why if you feel like theres a little gap between us , this is the reason . I thought this thing will disappear like a blowing wind . But it is not . You should know something is wrong if i say nothing at all or my reaction is not like always . I m just too broken . Ohgoshhh im being too mushy right now . I am at my lowest level of breaking point actually :'(

3. YES , i am an unstable reactant right now . I can blow up anytime soon . Ya Allahh , tolong bagi aku kekuatann T_T . EXAM . ASSIGNMENT . LAB . EVENTS . TOURNAMENT . 

Wassaappp !

Assalamualaikum to all ! :)

Whats up y'all ! Apa do atas ? heheheeh

Okey, we are nearly at the edge of weekendd ! weee ! So lets catch up what we have missed :)


Well , ive been searching wherever my motivation had gone . And i found that  , practically , Alquran does help to soothe your mind and ease your brain :') Ohh thankyou Allah . And i realised that this is just another phase for me of being a human . Yes , im only a servant of Allah and im being tested to elevate my level of Iman . Ohh thankyou Allah for whatever that happened . Nothing can be compared to Your love :*

And i also found many interesting words on Tumblrr . MasyaAllahh , It has been a long time since im tumblr-walking. Only at times like this i would have my own moment to stalk them. Hihi . Well , i cant say i have thaaat much time -as the classes are all full till nightt Gaahahah . And all the workloads! But whatever happens , i have to find something to relieve this uneasy feelings . Oh yeah ofcourseee , my friends helped too :)

Oh yeahh , there was Talhah Got Talent ! and Shakira Shukor joined in Fashion show ! Ecewahh ! Weewwitt ! Hihihi . I assisted her as im also get excited with this kind of programme BUT note that im not goin to be the one who participate ! Eheemm ! Hihih . So it was a great night ! Sooo many talentss ! :') Da la siap ponteng class bioprocess ! Astaghfirullaaahalazimm Maslinn apa nak jadi nii ? hahahahhah :D Takpe2 , ttbe Sir nak ganti lagii hehehhe  . Yeyyy ! :D.

AdaM pun masukk :)

She wrote her own song :')

Shakira Shukor

Dangduuttt ~ aida dan zati :D

Qasidah :') now im addicted to it .

 Then , we have IPT futsalll ! Yeahh met my old frienndd agaaainn ! :) Watched and got newww info bout that game. Hehehee. I likeeee :). And tadi IIUM lawan PIS pastu menang , pastu masuk semiiiiiiii Alhamdulillahhhh <3 .="." nbsp="nbsp" span="span">

Met Alya , junior basket cfs
*Wait ! Serious muka teruk gila :(*

Ammar Khairi , Poli Shah Alam :)

 PAstu sempat lagii kann aku larii eh , rempitt pi Usrahh jap . Heheh . Tajuk kita hari ni bersyukur  :). So ini yang kita dapat :

 Cara2 bersyukur :

1. Iktiraf : Mengaku semua nikmat ni dari Allah
2. Attahaddus : Mengungkapkan kata syukur - Alhamdulillah , Terimakaseh
3. Taat : Bersyukur dengan mengikut perintah Allah .

Like always , me as talkative as always; ALWAYS have something to say -,-. Well , Just what i felt is , if we count all the blessings we have today , we really cant be thankful enough to HIM . On how we have come to this far .On how all of these misery is just temporary and theres something better waiting. On how beautiful patience is when we know how to be grateful :') . YES . What we can do is to PRAY and try to improve ourselves from time to time . Allah didnt expect us to be perfect , but NEAR to perfection :') . Indeed . So guys , whenever you feel so down , think of alll the blessings and the goodness you have in life and pull yourself back up together ! Life is much more than anything you are facing right now . You are still on a journey to our ultimate destination , Jannah . Hence , Dont stop now . Keep walking :)

Jangan kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah.

 Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, melainkan kaum yang kafir."

(Yusuf : 87)

Sebelum kita beredar , mari listkan senarai kerja kita minggu iniii ! :

1. Genetics - Video lab , discussion
2. PTC - Results 
3. EAW - Literature review , Jurnal , Sources. 

PAstu adaaalahh , nak revise2 genetics ! wuwuu. Kerja Ibg lagi ,past basketball lagiii . Weee. hehheh . 

 Okeyy , itu jee . Wassalamm :)

WOW .

" Nak jumpe pas meeting ni , eh ? '

' Oh okey '

After Meeting .

"Yep ?"

" You have changed now . Why lately you look sooo gloomy ? Muramm ? Sedihh ? "

*dazzled*

" Ehh perasannn ke ? Cemana bole nampak ? Obvious ke ? How&^*%&%&$& Blablablabla ?"

" Haah , perasan je . Even takde salu jumpe . Haa . Ni ada masalah pape ke ? Pasal exco ? Study ? Gafa ?"

" Nehh , none the above " 

*teary eyes*

One word . WOW .

Wow because HE is so observant . Wow because he cared that much . WOW because he is a Guy .

Yes , WOW .

How can he sensed that ? Dah la tak salu jumpa . Paling dekat pun masa explorerace Mocis tu die jadi comitee. So , Woooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ! :O

HAHAHA , Ya Allahhh , tak sangka aku ada orang kisah dan perasan . Terharu laaa gilaaa. :') . Serious serious . Huhuhuh . Hampir nanges tadi , Sebbaek tahan , Gaaahaha . Apa jadahh laa sampai nak nanges ni Maslinnnn -.-" . Haihhhhh ._. . Entah lah . Terasa macam dah buat muka ceria sehabes baek dah cemana orang perasan nehhh . Grrrr . Dah lah org yg tak disangka2 Wuwuwuwwu . Terimakaseh ya Allah . Rase gembira la kejap . Ecewahhh . Tetiba . Gembira bukan sebab apa . Sebab beliau menjaga kebajikan exco2 ni . Ahaaa  . Katanya , kalau tengok betul2 , boleh laa perasan . 

Perghh . Tuhan je tahu perasaan dalam hatii . Haihhh .___.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okey dah  . Meh update sikiittt ! 

1. Exploderace ! :D

2. Friendly Match .

3. 3on3 IPT ! :)

Naek keta sendiri coz sume bas gi convest -.-

So , we won 1 out of 3 with Uitm, then usm and utm . Semua sipi2 nak menang . Geram tu ada gak , but well takde rezeki  . Cuba lagi next year eh ? Yeyyy ! :)



4. Closing ceremony .

 Semua orang nak amek gambaq ng idolaaaaa . Hihihi

Haa ye laaa dorg pun samaaaa :<

Mampu tengok dari jauh je laa ._.

Tu jee, hee . Okey , Banyak nak study nii . Goodluckk Maslinnn ! <3 p="p">