Is it happiness all what we are looking for ? Or serenity , free from any suffocating thoughts ?
Or emotional security , being comfortable with oneself ?
Which one , really ?
Salam and hello to you my readers , whoever you are . You could be my friend , or any stranger . Whoever you might be , please know that i feel flattered for you to read my blog since its purpose is to share my opinions , thoughts , experiences and whatnot. Yes , thankyou fr reading .
So , just so you know , we moved into new mahallah . And i finally chose Postgrade's rather than Undergraduate's . Yes , i had roomates . No , they didnt chose PG like me .
That was a tough call i must say . There are so many reasons in so many aspects . To leave or to stay. To retreat or to be away I mean , weve been living together since 2011 and only God knows the ups and downs weve been through. But there are times that i feel like its better to live alone . Not totally alone like having no friends but survivor-kinda alone .
But here's a thing bout me . I hate people who run from their problems . So id make sure that i dont do the same . It's a mindsetting . You will tend to avoid doing things that you think will annoy you if someone did to you . Simple .
Then my movement from UG to PG , is it some kind of problem-running case ? Honestly , i myself not really sure . But what im certain of is that , whenever i have any issue with anyone , it happened during theres a war inside of me. You gediit ? Means , the unsettled battle inside of me is projected to the outside and hit other people . That is not good . i Have to do something bout it .
So i guess that is it . Soul-searching . Saved from incoming heartache eventho there would be some in future . However , i find that it is hard to adapt . Everything is just too alien for me . Mundane . Foreign . The people , the environment , When i compare it to the UG , i feel a bit envy . Daym . Is this the right choice ? How to handle this in another 2 months time ?!
Then i found the answer . I have to find my own routine . Routine that simplified my day . Make everything so easy and lovable . I need to fall in love with my room . Have some emotional attachment with it . For this , i need to make connection with other ppl around me . Just find whatever that can make my room lovely and a place that i cant leave off. Yes . i have to !