19 November 2010

can't u see ?

what if i say that,

i have no longer interest in it ?

what if i say ,

my interest now is towards something that u would never imagine

what if i say ,

i just dont know how to handle it

but what if i say

my results showed everything ?

everyday, since that day .
i was thinking of how to overcome this problem of mine .
is it even a problem if my feeling changed ?
i think its not.
what would be it if when i have no guts to say it.
well i tried.
it just wont came out.
see, NO GUTS.
i hold back too much because i think this is an irrational move.
i may not think about it deeply.
but then again , my results showed.

i am sorry . i try my very best to keep it inside.
but the more i tried , the harder it is for me.
and to be frank , i am trying my ver ver very best to nurture my feeling to what i am doing now.
eventho i know it would be a long shot and soooo hard.
but i would do that.
just cant bear the disappointment of them anymore.
LIKE seriously .
i do think i have to express this to them. even for once. is enough
so they would understand why i screwed up so much.
on second thought , would it be as hard as facing how they will feel about me ?
yup, their feelings are way to0 important .
eh mine ? isnt it as same as theirs ?


ohhh i just dont know .
i hope i can hold on a little longer and find out a solution without making a massive change.
oh Allah , Help me please :/
call me cengeng or whatever because everytime i am thinking bout this , my tears are about to fall. it feels like someone is digging my heart out .its excruciating . and indescribeable.

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