This post is nothing but the continuation of my "down-ness" LAtely .
Eventually , we had our friendly match with the Integom. We won . BUT the play ? Sucks !
Gaahaha. I didnt perform well . Not as well as how coach wants . Emmm.
PAdan muka sapa suh tido dan makan nasi beberapa minit before Match ! ZzZzZ .
So its the night for him to announce the players list .
I was like this close to feel so sure i didnt make it to the team until he called my name . THE LAST NAME.
Alhamdulillah . Astaghfirullahhhh .
1st . Like seriously coach ?! BEcause you said yourself YOU DONT WANNA PICK ME . So, whats this?
2nd. Thankyou coach . Emmm. Yeah , i should . You have this haaardd timeee of choosing .
3rd. I pity Zalik and Fit . A bit of shame also . BEcause i knowwwww that they are waaayy better than me. So it came back to the 1st one . Whyy mee COachhhh ? ! Emmmm.
WHY IM ACTING LIKE THIS ?! You would ask right ?
Because suddenly i doubt my passion . I question the reason of all thissssss . Why i wanna put up with all of these hard training that make me all sick /ache ? Why im sacrificing my holidays just for this ? Why oh why ? Too many Why;s.
As im doubting what i hold for , i thnik its better to give to someone that deserve more . Like Zalik and Fit .
But then again :
Im not quitting . Im just being realistic of what im capable of .
Ya Allahh tolonglahh dakuuu .
Its Nisfu Syaaban . Selamat berpuasa sunat ! :)